I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
