my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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