There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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