idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
