i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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