I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize