Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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