this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
