she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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