And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
