We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize