i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
