Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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