And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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