Just fell off a train. Bad.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
