Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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