yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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