it wasn't lemon gatorade
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
