During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I cut my penus on the lid.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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