u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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