how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
