You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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