Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
