do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
