We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
