I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
