After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
