My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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