She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
