you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
