You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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