there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
