He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
