Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
