Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I skipped work to stalk him.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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