my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
