Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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