yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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