His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
