Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
