Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
