I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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