Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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