whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
