I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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