Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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