if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize