Don't you send me to vm
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
