I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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