You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
