It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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