Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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