I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
