Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
