he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
