phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
