I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
