Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if only i could text you this smell
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize