So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
