you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
