umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
