So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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