I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
