That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
